Smashed to Smithereens

Sometimes I feel sad for seemingly no reason at all. I usually blame hormones, low blood sugar, and a lack of sleep. However, sometimes, it is caused by none of the above. It leaves me confused and depressed because without a cause, finding a solution is difficult. I am usually a content and happy person. In fact, once someone told me they didn't like me, and when I asked them why, they said, “Because you're too happy.” That was a tough one to learn at 14.

So anyways today is one of those days. Today is a day when I feel sad for seemingly no reason at all, and there is no one and nothing to blame. All the same, I am not too worried. I know that tomorrow or the next day I will feel better. In the meantime, I just write and read and listen to music. Ben Harper speaks directly to my soul at times like these. Sometimes I cry, too. I feel like sometimes my soul needs a break from the suffering. I spend so much time reading, writing and immersing myself in others' pain, and every once in a while my tank runs dry.

So these days are frustrating, but they are also incredibly important. These days remind me that I am human. I am fragile and strong at once. I am humbled by my own subconscious emotion. Sometimes I feel defeated. But I know that soon I will be re-filled. Soon, I will be better than ever. My sadness turns me inward to do some healing and soul repairs. This way I can continue to serve outwardly, but only when my soul is healthy.

So today I feel like the problems in the world could squash me to smithereens. It is a whole and complete feeling. It is valid.

But the crazy thing is that I feel blessed to be burdened by such sadness. I feel blessed to feel others' pain. I feel blessed because I know that I can make a difference, and that I am trying. I know that in this moment, I am doing everything in my power to counteract the forces of evil depriving others of life. I find relief in knowing that I am not the only one trying to lift the burden from the oppressed.

So, today I may not be strong enough to keep the world from squashing us to smithereens, so I look to YOU. I look to you to keep things in order.

And tomorrow, when I feel stronger, I will hold the world together while YOU take a break to let YOUR soul heal.

This how we can do this together. This way, we each have enough to give. This is how we keep from growing weary and cynical. This is how we keeping fighting the good fight.

We won't let the evil doers smash us to smithereens.

Deal?

...Keep Spreading the Love Around...

“with hopes of better days to come,

it's a morning yearning,

another day, another chance to get it right, must I still be learning,

like a summer rose, I'm a victim of the fall,

but I'm soon returning,

your loves the warmest place the sun ever shines

in my morning yearning.”

Morning Yearning-Ben Harper